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Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Lyle Lyle Crocodile’ on Netflix, an Extremely Silly Musical About a Singing Reptile

The most surprising thing about Lyle Lyle Crocodile (now on Netflix) isn’t the concept of a large semiaquatic reptile singing jaunty Broadway-style tunes, because you can create all sorts of preposterous frivolities with CGI. Rather, it’s seeing Javier Bardem, best known as the Hollywood heavy-hitter who played one of the nastiest characters in cinema history – the bowl-cutted menace Anton Chigurh – singing Broadway-style tunes alongside a large semiaquatic reptile. The movie isn’t the first-ever 2xLyle musical adaptation of Bernard Waber’s children’s books, The House on 88th Street and Lyle Lyle Crocodile; in the late ’80s, HBO aired such a thing, but it didn’t have a wild card – an uncharacteristically diddlefarting Bardem – in its deck, something that might just make the new movie a memorable experience.  

LYLE LYLE CROCODILE: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Hector P. Valenti (Bardem) is one of those greasy showbiz lifers who’s always trying to force his mediocrity into the spotlight. He’s a magician with a wild mustache and a cape crammed with pigeons, and we meet him as he tries to bum-rush the stage of TV series Show Us What You’ve Got. Of course, he gets booted. He wanders into a nearby pet shop and spots an adorable wide-eyed baby croc in a cage, singing pop ditties. He doesn’t speak, but he can siiiiiinnnnng! THIS is SURELY Hector’s ticket to FAME. He names the li’l dude Lyle and takes him home and pals around with him and takes a bath with him (OK, sure, it’s innocent and not weird I guess?) and whips him into showbiz shape. He tuxes up Lyle and they take the stage in front of a packed house and Lyle – well, Lyle clams up. It’s not a Michigan J. Frog type situation where Hector starts questioning his own sanity. No, it’s stage fright, and the curtain drops as the crowd mutters and the poor little guy stands there being sliced apart by relentless hyperboreal LENS FLARE.

This is when we learn that Hector isn’t one of the cruel ones. He’s a forgiver, not an exploiter. But he’s also in a pinch. He’s got bills to pay. So he goes on tour, and leaves Lyle in the attic for the Primm family to discover when they move into the Manhattan brownstone eighteen months later. What happened to Hector? Probably what always happens to Hector. Why is Hector’s place being rented out? What, do you expect a kid’s movie to get into the nuances of NYC tenant law? Anyway – the Primms. There’s middle-schooler Josh (Winslow Fegley), his brown-corduroy-jacket math teacher dad (Scoot McNairy) and cookbook-author stepmom (Constance Wu). On move-in day, they’re greeted by downstairs neighbor Mr. Grumps (Brett Gelman), whose prissy cat Loretta doesn’t particularly like him, perhaps because nobody likes him since he lives up to his name by being a hateful SOB who’s just waiting to be pummeled by the righteous comeuppance of the just world of children’s movies.

We hereby switch to Josh’s POV. He’s not so sure about this move. He’s a bit anxious; what kid wouldn’t be? He has a rough first day in his new school and comes home and finds full-grown Lyle up in the attic letting rip with an alto that sounds honed specifically for Broadway (voiced by Shawn Mendes). After a moment of trepidatious skepticism, Josh best-friends the living snot out of Lyle. The croc takes the boy on a dumpster-diving tour of Manhattan, with an escaped Loretta tagging along. Soon enough, Stepmom figures out what’s going on, and after a moment of trepidatious skepticism, finds much joy in their dumpster-dives, and paints Lyle like, it sure seems, one of her French girls, and it looks a lot like Waber’s book illustrations, but don’t worry, this isn’t one of those sneaky, hacky origin-of-the-book stories. No, it’s a slightly more traditional parade of conflicts, as Dad has yet to experience the moment of Lyle-inspired trepidatious skepticism, and Hector will turn up again, and Mr. Grumps will inflict his sour demeanor on everyone else’s attempts to enjoy life with a singing, dancing absurdity.

lYLE LYLE CROCODILE STREAMING MOVIE
Photo: Everett Collection

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Alligator, also the story of a semiaquatic reptile having amusing misadventures in NYC. (Kidding!) Lyle is also similar in tone and style to CGI-addled kid’s-book-turned-HBO-musical-turned-feature-length-film, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. And singing animals of course makes one think of both Sing 1 and Sing 2!

Performance Worth Watching: Bardem’s goofy flamboyance and hint of an inner moral conflict bring a little heft to a kid’s story that otherwise tries very hard to blend in with the rest of the family-movie pack. He also works hard to deliver the following line: “Prepare to have your flabber truly gasted!”

Memorable Dialogue: Lyle lays out a smorgasbord of dumpster-picked delicacies for a reluctant Josh, who utters a line that’s so true to the spirit of American children, it’ll give every parent in the audience an utterly chilling moment of recognition: “I have a sort of specific diet, which is mostly Bagel Bites.”

Sex and Skin: None.

Our Take: Deep in Lyle Lyle’s third act, Scoot McNairy Corduroy Dad tells his son, upset by the circumstances presented to him by the screenplay of a children’s movie, “Not all problems have a solution, Josh.” But this bit of hard, pipe-hitting truth is soon undermined by a miracles-do-happen conversation and a from-out-of-nowhere solution to a major problem. So much for a potential teaching moment – save for helping your child understand the definition of the term deus ex machina

But what should we expect from a movie in which a crocodile not only sings, but inspires Scoot McNairy Corduroy Dad to shed his corduroy for a wrestling singlet so he may grapple with the beast? The movie ultimately ends up grappling with itself: Is it going to stir up any subtext or simply be silly for its own sake? It doesn’t really do either, landing on an innocuous middle ground. But considering its vaguely realized messaging trafficks in the usual kid-movie themes – accepting others for who they are, the power of nontraditional families, the power of belief, etc. – it probably should’ve leaned more heavily into the silliness.

And by that, I don’t mean more farting crocodiles or jokes about cats with IBS. That struggle to do it all translates to the film’s musical concept, which mixes in jukebox faves with original numbers, prompting one to wonder whether a musical consisting of forgettable new songs or worn-out old ones is more annoying. But that doesn’t mean Lyle Lyle is disagreeable, just middling in its charm and appeal, and held together by congenial performances from its core cast (Wu is especially enjoyable as the uptempo cool stepmom). Thank the deus for Bardem, who jolts the movie out of its occasional stupor of conventional kiddie-musicalisms with bursts of charismatic energy. Who expected him to upstage a singing CG crocodile?

Our Call: Despite its faults, Lyle Lyle Crocodile is mostly worth your while. STREAM IT. 

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.